I'm Surrounded by Retards.

Ok, ok retards is not the "politically correct" term. It's tough to keep track of what the politically correct terminology is anymore. I suppose we're going with mentally challenged now...mentally retarded wouldn't make much sense, not much more than mentally handicapped. Well now, when can you actually use the word retard? Dictionary.com provides the following definitions:
–verb (used with object)

1.	to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.

–verb (used without object)

2.	to be delayed.

–noun

3.	a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.

4.	Slang: Disparaging. a. a mentally retarded person. b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.

So apparently it is now offensive to use the word retard in reference to a person. I guess it's particularly offensive to use it in reference to someone who is ACTUALLY retarded. Which I guess makes it particularly a propos for describing the not actually retarded people I'm surrounded by. Oddly enough I've only come across them in situations like getting my morning coffee at Dunkin' Donuts, or walking around Marshalls. I can't begin to describe the conversation I overheard at Marshalls, besides the fact that the offending retard said to her child (apparently they're allowed to bear children) "If you don't stay in your seat (in the shopping cart) I'm going to THROW you." I'm actually just disgusted thinking about the rest of the conversation.
On the other hand, it's become entertaining to watch the people at Dunkin' Donuts try to take an order for a "large coffee". At one point the screen displayed munchkins and 6 bagels. I'd analogize it to watching a person of normal intelligence try to launch a space shuttle. You're standing at mission control, looking up at the big screen, hoping that you press the right button, then realizing that you pressed the button that controls the space station instead. I don't know how many derivations of Large Coffee actually exist, since they must have 12 different options on the touch pad screen. Of course while this is all going on, 2 OTHER people are trying to understand my order so they can make the coffee. It's literally a crew of retards, spearheaded by the #1 retard, Brunehilda. Honestly, that's her name. I can't make this shit up. It makes me long for the days in southern CT when Mandeep and Mansukh would quickly serve up a coffee, with hardly a wasted motion and never getting an order wrong. Once when Brunehilda "accidentally" charged me for 3 coffees instead of one. When I pointed this out to her, rather than void the order or issue a return, she just reached in the drawer, approximated the price of two medium coffees, and handed me a wad of cash. I was amazed to the point where I didn't even bother to argue. I think I came out ahead in that transaction anyway. Yes, I am surrounded by retards, and not the real ones (although there definitely was one working at Marshalls), and as a tribute to them I leave you with the following video. It's worth it trust me.