Here's a little post to throw to you jackals. I know that you're always looking for new posts, checking AoF incessently for that little rewarding nugget of pseudo-pseudo-journalism that we like to call AoF. Don't you people know that we lead frenetic, stressful lives in which AoF is merely a piece of the well-rounded tapestries that we like to call our existences?
Here's an example of my prominence in the community which steals valuable time from AoF: Just today I was setting the Guinness Record for "Most highly valued corporate merger while playing the theme to Sanford and Son in the form of one-man band". Lo, my super-hearing set in, and I heard the sound of distress coming from yonder mountains...that of the endangered Pan-Asian Whooping Condor.
I immediately activated my jet-pack and flew to the rescue, only to find that Keith Hernandez's moustache had not only saved the Condors from what appeared to be Nazi-Cyborgs, but it had already built them a charming ranch style bungalow for them to inhabit. Apparently, Keith's moustache had taken a break from providing ever witty and charming color commentary in order to rid the world of evil/zompires (Half zombie, half vampire creatures) (To be fair, it has been argued that a vampire is nothing more than a good-looking zombie that can turn into a bat. Touche, salesman).
The following (and preceding) pictures are in homage to Keith Hernandez and his powerful, yet alluring moustache.
(I won the MVP in '79. I can do whatever I want to...I'm Keith Hernandez)
(Who wants a moustache ride?)
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