FACT: Illiteracy Rears its Ugly Head

Hopefully this is the last apology to the baker's dozen or so of our readers, but, on behalf of the editors of AoF, we extend our sincerest regrets at being unable to offer you more material on the ever-growing internet with which to waste your time. Clearly, without our presence in the blogosphere being established on a daily basis, posting articles replete with assertions of fact, one's day of web surfing is clearly incomplete, dare I say it, bordering upon inadequacy. Also, if you have a problem with my run-sentences, I suggest you go visit the estimated 12 percent of the internet that is porn. Now that's what Al Gore invented the internet for, not infrequently updated blogs that add little to society other than providing a forum to discuss zombies or Mike Vick's legal problems/herpes.

As stated a few times in some of the posts from the past few months, we were studying/growing moustaches for the bar exam. Thankfully, that's now over, and the only thing currently occupying my thoughts is an attempt to refine that pesky no alcohol before noon rule into something more amenable to my schedule, maybe 9:30 or so. What I refuse to budge on, however, is the no smoking crack 30 minutes before going for a swim. Safety first.

Before I digress from my digressions, I do want to point out that the bar has officially shredded my brain into an unrecognizable mass not fit for society. Another few days of study and taking the test itself would have been impossible. Imagine how one would feel if, hypothetically, they decided that writing out a test by hand was simply just far too physically taxing, and they had to take the bar on the computer. I mean, who can't sympathize? Here you've been, your whole life, at least 25 years or so, actually physically handwriting all your answers. How loathesome. Well, guess what you 5,000 or so douchebags that wouldn't dare bring yourselves to be troubled with the low-tech machinations of pen to paper.........looks like the typewritten NY bar exams might be lost

Now, it doesn't matter so much that they may all end up being recovered. The point is that all of those smarmy bastards now have to sweat it out. The best part is that, if they're lost, tough shit, see you next February for the next test. That's just an insane possibility, I mean, my brain is swiss cheese. I'm practically functionally illiterate now after this ordeal. Although, to be fair, I'm not actually illiterate, as opposed to past American Idol winner Fantasia, which just goes to show that books will get you nowhere in life. Just drop out of school and hope they make a reality TV show for your skill irrelevant to functioning in today's market economy. I'm personally holding out hope for "Tiger Woods PGA Tour '07 Idol".

OK, time to take my leave. The laptop I'm typing on is burning my nuts. If handwritten blogging were possible I would.