Fact: Somewhere Between Ass-Kickings and Going Bankrupt: Mike Tyson Reads

That's right folks. While serving his 24 hours in jail, "Iron" Mike Tyson ate sloppy joes and read American Gangster. If not for the whole criminal thing, a day in jail sounds like one relaxing vacation. At least this special celebrity jail that Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, and now Mike Tyson get to go to. It must be affiliated with the celebrity court that OJ and Kobe went to.

In my opinion, celebrities SHOULD get special treatment. I mean why not? Us mere mortals get to go to mere mortal court and jail, celebrities should have to be tried in front of Judge Judy, (or Mills Lane/Joe Brown/etc.) or be represented by Lawyer Malloy before Judge Reinhold, and have their fate be decided by a (William) Hung jury. (shout out to Arrested Development).

They should have to go to celebrity jail. OZ. That's right, Oz. And not the Oz with the witches and talking tin can. Ass rape in the middle of the night OZ.

That aside, let's get back to Mike. Evidently he can read. I guess that's not all too shocking, I just assumed that he'd lost the little brain function he had remaining picking "comeback" fights to make a few bucks and avoid losing his pet tigers. This is really good news for my "Mike Tyson Beats you How to Read" campaign, where Mike reads to children. I'd try and type what it sounds like but I can't find a font that's high pitched and lispy enough. We could invite the other infamous Michael and make it an interactive learning experience. (don't mind Clint...)