EXCLUSIVE! MDC: "Mook on Notice"

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We all remember the story brought to (not so)national attention when friend of AoF, MDC, asserted that he could eat 10 double cheeseburgers in one sitting. This claim has wreaked havoc on MDC's personal life and culminated in an assertion of fact that he could not, in fact, eat 10 double cheeseburgers.

Now, you may ask, how would a lesser man handle the constant pressure that accompanies such an assertion? When I say it has wreaked havoc on MDC's life, I'm not kidding. He cannot walk through the halls of our institution without being questioned about it. He has been drunkenly dialed on at least 3 separate occasions, all after 1am, once five times in a row before he answered, and at least once while he was trying to enjoy his favorite movie with his girlfriend. He cannot even enjoy his favorite meal without being reminded that he could be eating 10 double cheeseburgers instead. A particularly harsh critic has been the Mook, another friend of AoF. Mook once engaged MDC in 10 separate phone calls in one night. Now give credit where credit is due: a good sport is the least we can say about MDC. Personally, I would've disowned all of our asshole friends by now (myself included).

We have all wanted an official response to the post by MDC, but he has been reticent. However, I was able to sit down over instant messenger, one on one with MDC and the results revealed that the mook may have awakened a sleeping beast. MDC is mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore.

Deuce****: Listen, the people want a response from you regarding the post.

mdc****: hhaha, i have nothin to say

Deuce****: come on, we need both sides of the story, fair and accurate reporting.

mdc****: haha, nope

Deuce****: are we to take your silence as acceptance that you can't do it?

mdc****: no.

Deuce****: the people need to know . . . pehaps one statement to me, off the record.

(Editor's note: "off the record" means about as much to me as "I'll respect you in the morning" or "no, of course i won't tell anyone you got hammered hooked up with Fatty C. McGee" . . . so much for my journalistic integrity)

mdc****: this is the offseason . . . and i will have no comment
mdc****: when the season comes around again (winter)
mdc****: then we can talk

(editor's note, gotta be lean and mean for the beach season apparently, something dgd laughs at while eating ho-hos)

Deuce****: really, off the record, two questions:
1.) when you say next season, does this mean sticking to your claim of being able to eat 10 dbl cheeseburgers?
2.) Give me a response to the mook calling you out and the story creating shockwaves

mdc****: i may have gotten a little carried away . . . but i feel confident that if the time is right i could put down 7-8.

mdc****: i don't appreciate his constant push to get a story on this.

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(Side conversation between DGD and the Whip, after DGD sent MDC's comments to the Whip)
Deuce****: Oh shit he's backing off it. looks like someone can't handle the pressure of expectations . . . arod anyone?
GJB*****: hahaha. he's choking under the pressure. we may have to bring in a stabilizing presence.
GJB*****: then again maybe he'll eat 20 double cheeseburgers in April then eat one and throw up when it counts.

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Deuce****: ok, fair enough.

mdc****: (regarding question 2) and i liken this situation to the story of phillies manager, Charlie Manuel, and talk show host Howard Eskin

Deuce****: discuss...

mdc****: he can quote me as sayin, as Manuel did: "I don't like what you've been saying about me for three years and I'm gonna drop your ass right here. I got questioned [about] who I was as a man, and how tough I am. When I first started [eating cheeseburgers], I used to grab [two at a time] and slam them [down without a drink] and everything," (MDC said, trying to make clear that he's capable of confronting mass quantities of meat). "Really. That was no problem. I had no problem doing that. I'm older now, and things like that. I'm [24] years old now, but at the same time I've still got that same passion. I've still got that same fire."

Deuce****: so, u have the passion is what ur saying and mook is some hack who has never played the game trying to call u out?

mdc****: exactly

Deuce****: how many burgers to u think mook could eat?

mdc****: 2/3 of a filet o fish
mdc****: maybe 7/8 of a boca burgerr.

Deuce****: wow.

(A wag of the finger at Mook)

There you have it. Perhaps the AoF post should be amended to say "Fact: You Can't Eat 10 Double Cheeseburgers (but we're confident that if the time is right you could put down 7-8)." The bigger story though is that it looks like, in true Stephen Colbert fashion, MDC has put mook on notice!!! Hilarity ensues.

****Eternal thanks to the Whip for truly excellent photoshopping****