Great Moments in Syphilis

We here at AoF take our responsibilities in the community seriously. Not the least of which is the moral obligation we all have, as members of society, to educate others as to the events that fill the pages of the annals of history. Unfortunately, the pervasive liberal bias that permeates the halls of this nation's educational institutions serves as a roadblock in the path to enlightenment that many of you seek to tread upon. I must, therefore, take it upon myself to shed some light upon some of the most influential historical events that have either gone unnoticed or that "the man" has decided to leave out of the curriculum.

Today's little nugget of learning: Great Moments in Syphilis (If this blog had an audio option, I would have added some serious echo to the title).

The first known outbreak of Syphilis afflicted German troops in 1494 during a seige of Naples. The lesson to be learned: Kraut men are dirty motherfuckers that may or may not have sex with each other to pass the time in between killing Italians. (It's in my contract to make a gay joke at least once per post). To quote the great Norm MacDonald: "Which leads me to my next point.....Germans love David Hasselhoff."

Perhaps the most intriguing historical instance of syphilis occurred in Alabama of all places. I'm of course speaking of the Tuskegee Experiment. Basically, the U.S. Government, through the Tuskegee Institute in Macon, Alabama, conducted a study where it gave about 400 black men syphilis and basically went out of their way not to treat them in order to study the effects of the disease. The study ran from 1932 to 1972. Over a hundred people died. There's not really an opportunity to attempt to make a joke here. Instead, I'll reference a recent conversation I was a part of, in which AoF's favorite Portuguese Princess asserted that he'd absolutely hook up with a hot chick even if she had syphilis. He went so far as to say that he'd hook up with a ridiculously hot chick even if she had AIDS. The reasoning being that they have medicine for AIDS nowadays. Hard to argue with that logic. Shit, look at Magic, he may or may not have had the HIV for over 15 years now and he's doing great.

I'll leave you with a list of suspected syphilitics: Christopher Columbus, Charles VIII, Ludwig von Beethoven, Abraham Lincoln, Hernando Cortez, Adolf Hitler, John F. Kennedy, Benito Mussolini, Vladimir Lenin, Ivan the Terrible, Friedrich Nietzsche, Al Capone, Edouard Manet, Scott Joplin, Mr. Rogers, Raffi, Orville Redenbacher, and Julio Lugo. It's not necessary to establish that all of these individuals definitely had/have syphilis. All that matters is that I just said they probably had syphilis. Most of the names on the list I got from Wikipedia. You know what, I'm getting rid of might. Mr. Rogers died of syphilis. FACT.

*Holy shit, it was a bad idea thinking I could find pictures for this post simply by searching "Syphilis" in google images.