EMail Assertions of Fact

First off, I just need to note that it's always particularly difficult to follow some hard-hitting journalism about butthash.

That being said, it's always worth a good laugh to occasionally flip through past posts and check out the comments. By comments I mean the scattered 1 comment here and there, almost entirely by a commenter by the name of Justin. Sure, we comment on each others' posts every now and then, as well as some occasional non-Justin commenting (although I don't think there's been any of those in a few months). Well, this post is the reward that frequent commenting gets you (it also could be an award I just won for most usages of the word comment in a paragraph). In it's entirety, here's an e-mail I received from Justin (AKA the Birdman) about a month and a half ago:

"I couldn't think of anyone else I'd love to share these with more after I saw them during my daily reading of the Onion. The tagline for the nutritionist pic was "Zombie Nutritionist recommends all-brain diet" and the second pic obviously reflected the reason for low voter turnout at a recent election.

Love,
Birdman"

The pictures are, of course, those handsome gents to the right.

Now, I'm sure you're thinking to yourself, "Self, I desperately want back those two minutes of my life that I just spent reading AoF today." After you had that self-destructive thought (and possibly also me-destructive thoughts), you then likely said, "Self, your boyish good looks and impish charm apparently are not all it takes to get your thoughts published on the internet. I wish I too could get on AoF, just like the Birdman. If only the editors cared to have me as a personal friend so that I could email them directly." Well, that's never gonna happen. I don't know what's worse, the fact that we write this nonsense or that strangers like you read it. But, here's a lucky compromise just for you. We've just launched the AoF hotline. EMail us your nonsensical suggestions here. If you couldn't be bothered to click on that link, here's the address in non-hyperlink form (kind of): AssertionsofFact@gmail.com. Pretty original name, huh. Just in the nick of time, too. It only took us nine months of operating the site to launch a way to contact us.