Not that it's really shocking but the artist that performs the (newest &) greatest between inning traditional song is also likely to show up on the next episode of "To Catch a Predator." Neil Diamond revealed today that he wrote the song "Sweet Caroline" about Caroline Kennedy after seeing her "dressed to the nines in her riding gear." He threw in some bullshit about innocence and some other nonsense but it's crystal clear that the french maid and sexy nurse had grown tiresome for old Neil. One look at the cover above explains a lot about what Neil is thinking when he performs.
Do the math, Kennedy is 50 now, the song was released in 1969 so subtract one year and BAM: he wrote a song about an 11-12 year old. Diamond said "I've never discussed it with anybody before -- intentionally." He cited that she may be embarassed but AoF thinks it has more to do with not wanting to end up on the FBI watch list. Now, Sweet Caroline seems innocent enough, but what good times that never felt so good could he be referring to? I'd say he's probably buying a saddle and hoping that he's the next pony in her stable. Let's break down some of the lyrics:
"Where it began, I can't begin to know when. But then I know it's growing strong."
- The logical explanation is his feelings for 12 year olds, but then again maybe I'm thinking outside the box when he's actually talking about his dick in the box. Perhaps this is why the Kennedy's stopped accepting unmarked Christmas packages (OHHHHHH sweet double entendre smacked down on your asses!) Sorry about the outburst, totally out of line. Anyway. . .
"Hands, touching hands, reaching out. Touching me, touching you."
-Kinda self explanatory don't you think?
"We fill it up with only two."
-I think I'll leave this alone so as to avoid visits from "To Catch a Predator" myself.
According to the article he was "holed up in a hotel in Memphis" writing the song as a young broke songwriter (read: he was masturbating furiously while feeding quarters to the vibtrating bed trying not to spill his liter of Wild Turkey). A hot august night indeed. I ask you this America, shouldn't we demand answers from the love child of Joe Lieberman and Bill Belichick? Perhaps: 'In this picture, are you grasping for a high note, or the imaginary image of 12 year old ass?'
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4 comments:
That last paragraph makes me want to visit Memphis...or at least hang a picture of the city over my bed while listening to Marc Cohn.
That last picture should have a caption. "Mind the stepchildren..."
To add to it. listen to his song you'll be a woman soon. Its even more creepy.
Ok so you all sit and say neil is a pedo but many of you would say Michael is not..when actual allegations were surfaced that he did do it but neil never laid a finger on any child..its sick writing about it BUT even sicker doing it like michael did even though you all swear he didn't even though he darted to another country and didn't face court then paid the people off.
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