Fact: We've got nothing to talk about.

Here we go again. Anxiously waiting for fellow bloggers to step up to the plate but alas, seven days pass and you, loyal reader have been rewarded with nothing. Our sincerest apologies. I can only offer speculative excuses. AoF's global headquarters is undergoing a renovation, as well as the grand opening of our first satellite office. Our expansion from the Northeast to the Mid-Atlantic states is slow and could necessitate the expansion of our staff. It would be a shame to see AoF tank and go the way of Barbaro or http://www.poopics.blogspot.com/ ("it's exactly what you think").

It is utterly shameful that a staff with literally nothing better to do can't muster a few moments to get the creative juices flowing. (Although the new office renovation is looking good, but the receptionist is literally a bitch). There is a plethora of material that could be blogged about. I think we've pretty much beaten the Patriots/Belichick cheating scandal like a dead Barbaro, but how can we ignore O.J.? For those of you familiar with Chris Rock's comedy, I can only say that I was disappointed that it was armed robbery, not another dead white woman showing up at his house. As it turns out, HBO's comedy specials are not as prophetic as the Old Testament. But much like the movie "Phantoms", time will tell.

Let us also not forget about Danny Ferry's new office or Marc Ecko's commendable use of Barry Bonds' 756th home run ball, "Ecko, a fashion desiginer, purchased the baseball for $750,000 and is taking votes on the Internet on what he should do with it: Give the ball to the Baseball Hall of Fame, brand it with an asterisk or blast it into space." How about a 4th option? I'm thinking something along the lines of wiping his ass with it, sticking it in a bag of poo, putting it on Bonds' doorstep, lighting it on fire and ringing the doorbell. That would be a great inaugural photograph for "poopics".

What about the Dallas Cowboys starting a "troubled player collection"? They could just sign over the Bengals roster from last season. They've got T.O., now Tank Johnson, throw in Pacman and they're well on their way to collecting'em all. What else is there? We could mention Notre Dame, and the fact that offensive genius Charlie Weis can't read his playbook (or the other teams signals) anymore. Ok, cheap shot. I take it back. Notre Dame just sucks. Then there's all the HGH allegations being thrown around (and centered on some 6 foot 5 inch 276 pound athlete in Massachusetts. Unfortnately that doesn't really narrow it down. Maybe we can ask Rodney Harrison (if he wasn't already serving a suspension). And how can we not be tempted to rip on The Sports Guy for double publishing an article online and in a shitty magazine in an attempt to save his favorite television show, Friday Night Lights. I know for a fact that one AoF editor gave that show a chance. At the very least, can we try and bring back Arrested Development? As another AoF editor once stated, "that show is perfect." Perfectly cancelled because apparently America doesn't have a sense of humor.

Yeah, you're right, we've got nothing to talk about. Let's just hope AoF doesn't go the way of this trio...