Clifford The Big Dead Dog

Quick note: Dougie does not appreciate the reports that readers are unhappy with Dougie's recent posts. If a reader has a problem with Dougie's post (and its not merely made up by other compatriots with far more time on their hands) then Dougie implores you to not be lazy and use the comment board. Dougie was so upsethe could barely finish his steak and cheese (extra cheese).

Now, on to far more entertaining topics, like Michael Vick fighting dogs. That's right Pedro Gom...I mean DGD will be reporting on this again. Basically, its become as tiresome a story as Terrell Owens and reached the level of I don't give a shit faster than Kim Clijsters. Quick note to all the clowns out there, this issue is about DOGS, that's right DOGS. Don't get me wrong, I like dogs, I wouldn't hurt or advocate hurting dogs myself but for the love of christ Ray-Ray helped kill a brotha and is now God's linebacker. At least he's taking care of T.O. for us.

Another note, I implore everyone to cancel your subscription to SI if you still get that rag. . . I mean who isn't interested in the completely related topic of global warming and sports, that's not attenuated at all. Come to think of it, maybe pitching in 2 feet of water will help Dontrelle's ERA, be back after I take my diesel truck for a ride after turning all the lights on. Seriously, any magazine that can tear apart Vick after calling Ray-Ray God's linebacker needs a swift kick in the nuts. (side note, Michael Irvin looks like he is sweating out crack as he cries at the Hall of Fame induction).

Back to it. The reaction to this whole dog fighting thing is completely overblown. Suspension, I suppose, jail, most likely, banishing to Antarctica. . . not so much. Vick has basically lost his job, faces jail, has been disowned by anything with NFL branded on it, and had sponsors run away faster than little Franky from father O'Flanagan's special friend Rupert. I mean seriously, the free market has the right to respond as it will but Vick seems like he f'd up at the wrong time. I mean Leonard Little killed someone then went out and put himself in the same situation and gets a three-year contract extension. Doesn't quite add up.

Now you insatiable animals, there will be many more posts to come so cool out it takes more than a few naked swings in front of the mirror to get ideas for posts. But I leave you with this Chinese riddle: What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your parents you're gay.