Fact: The Jets Coach: Mangenius? Nay, more like Mantarded

It's Monday. 9:40 AM. I've been at work for over an hour and have managed to accomplish the following: Turn on my computer, organize some paperwork, ask my boss for a promotion/raise, take a 15 min coffee break, and talk football. Mostly about the Jets and Patriots, since my the nearest two cubicles contain a Jet fan and Patriot fan and my Giants are cruising into the post season in mediocrity, likely to lose in the first round for the 3rd straight season. That is assuming they don't shit the bed.

The conversations began with pretty much how shitty the Jets are playing this season. I'm no Eli Manning apologist (he doesn't have his brother's happy feet, it's more like HOLY SHIT feet the moment he feels the slightest pressure - and is usually followed by an easy sack or an interception), but I'd always loved ripping on noodle-armed Chad Pennington. Sure every once in a while Chad would try and shut you up by throwing a 40 yard bomb, but you knew that for the rest of the game he'd have that tingling in his arm, that tingling you get when you try and over throw, leaving you with basically a dead arm. Of course after commenting on how much the Jets suck, and how I might become a Derek Anderson fan (much like my appreciation for David Garrard last year - purely for fantasy football points purposes), the conversation turned to the ruthless play of the Patriots against the Steelers.

For the record, I'm a Ben Rothelisbergr fan. Don't judge me for it. And for those of you AoF sticklers, I didn't misspell his name by mistake. It just so happens that he was a great Madden Football QB (the same year that Jimmy Williams recorded 68 sacks and won the MVP), and the Madden programmers decided it necessary to abbreviate his name. He's also a great fantasy QB, and I happened to have chosen my dog from the Ebay picture of him selling his SUV. Ironically, he probably should have packaged that up with his bike, but I doubt there was much resale value for it. Sure I was saddened by the Steelers inability to keep it close against the Pats. But I'm not a Steelers fan.

Which brings me to the Patriots. Now that the Giants are pretty close to clinching a Wild Card spot in the postseason, and barring the final game of the season against the Patriots (which could be anything from the Patriots resting starters to the Giants resting starters, both playing 1st strings or some conglomeration of that) I'll have to admit, I enjoy watching the Patriots collectively drop their drawers, and dook on their competition. It's kind of like admitting I'm a fan of evil. Sportsmanship be dammed. This is competition in it's purest form. Bad blood, bad intentions, a lot of shit talking, and some ridiculous plays to back it up. This is not the stuff you want your kids to watch if they're last hope at winning a trophy is the sportsmanship award (which usually means they suck). This is the team for the parent who wants their kid to be a steely-eyed, cold-hearted mercenary/killer. And you know what? I'm actually enjoying it.

Each week I eagerly anticipate the spread for the weeks game. What will it be? 3 1/2? Hell no. 14 1/2? Try again. 22 1/2? That might be a good place to stop. Then I wait for what surely will be a vindictive game of football. Someone talked some shit through the media? Belichick will make sure that he never does again. He won't just beat you, he will make sure you are thorougly embarrassed, and in jeopardy of losing your starting job. If we went to war (again), I'd want Belichick to be on the front lines, taking no prisoners, showing no mercy. The only concern would be that he decided to drop an A-Bomb every time he encountered a less capable enemy.

Which brings me to my final point. This week the Jets and Patriots square off at Foxboro. If there were one event that you could point to and say, this is where Belichick lost it, it would have to be Spygate, where Mangini outed Belichick as a cheater. Ever since then it seems that he's been on a mission to show the league that he could run the table without videotape, and in some cases with his eyes closed. My guess is that Bill has been waiting for this game for what seems like a lifetime. I'm going to put the spread at 80. Where the Patriots might show mercy against the puny, lifeless D-Fins in two weeks, no such mercy will be given Mangini. Sure, last season, where he led the Jets to a decently mediocre (10-6) record, he was nicknamed Mangenius. That nickname will forever be preserved in an episode of the Sopranos. Now he looks more like Mantarded (OR Mangina). When the student tries to defy the master, that's when things get ugly. And what a show I hope it turns out to be. Belichick should coach next weeks game blindfolded, like a true master.