Monkeys 101

We must be T.O. and the rest of the blog-o-sphere is the NFL. No it's not because we're brash, cocky and possess undeniable skills that others love to hate. Sure on occassion we've been known to hold press conferences in our driveway while doing shirtless sit-ups. But that got old pretty quick once T.O. did it.

What do I mean then? When T.O. reached the 100 career touchdown mark, the Philadelphia Eagles and the NFL did nothing to acknowledge this career milestone. (2005 - During an interview with ESPN's Graham Bensinger on November 3, Owens took shots at the Eagles franchise for not publicly recognizing his 100th touchdown catch. During the interview he stated the Eagles showed a "lack of class". He also suggested the Eagles would be better off with Packers QB Brett Favre instead of Donovan McNabb. He also called Jeff Garcia gay...) Much like T.O.'s 100th TD, AoF's century post passed with little fanfare. Sure, I saw the post, did the "dirty bird" in my cubicle, grabbed a sharpie from my sock and signed my computer, handing it to the person who hands me my weekly indentured servant wage. Then I quickly took it back and sat down for fear of being blindsided by an irate Falcon's fan. Fortunately there are none here.

So what's with Monkeys 101? It's not an Introductory or Survey class in Monkeys. If it was, I would use it to weed out all the monkey students that just can't cut it. Life is cruel, not everyone can tame wild monkeys as a hobby. (you'd need at least a day to gain it's trust, but the first contact is the most important).

Monkeys 101 = 101st AoF post, and it happens to be about monkeys. Wild Monkeys. Dangerous Monkeys. Political Monkeys. (all one in the same). New Delhi, India seems like a crazy place to live. Gangs of monkeys patrolling the streets. Now they're attacking politicians. CNN reports "Wild monkeys attacked a senior government official who then fell from a balcony at his home and died Sunday, media reported."

Crazy stuff. We need to find the next, Monkey Hunter, or Monkey Whisperer perhaps. We are led to believe that there was no motive for the attack. Maybe this guy was on the government monkey control task force. Maybe he had just introduced a bill proposing to deport all the monkeys. Maybe he just picked the wrong time to eat a bowl of cheerios with sliced bananas on his balcony? Maybe there's a sinister, Austin Powers type plot to train a monkey army to take over the world, one deputy mayor at a time.
Wait. What am I saying. Anyone who reads AoF should know that monkeys are just assholes...