Weekend Asshole(s) Alert

In a slight spin on the weekend sports-gasm, AoF brings you assholes of the sports world. I'm not trying to make this a purely sports blog but in reality my life is sleeping, eating, pooping and watching sports, it's hard not to find things to comment on when that's your life, although look out next week for "The cushioned toilet seat: friend or foe?"

Asshole 1: Mike Francesa (left) of Mike and the Mad Dog on WFAN. A pretty knowledgeable guy (about the Yankees at least) made one of the most incredibly asinine statements every uttered on radio this week, exposing his total lack of understanding about the nuances of football, which is surprising given his resume. While making their weekly NFL picks and discussing the Vikings vs. Bears matchup, Francesa derided the Vikings for misusing their salary cap on (gasp) offensive linemen. He said: (and not a direct quote but this encompasses his sentiment) "the Vikings have totally mismanaged their cap room on . . . offensive linemen. I mean what a waste, you have to have some skill players back there and the Viking's stink. They're not going to win using this stupid model." Again not a direct quote, but close enough.

Nice job Mike, you now sound like the casual fan who knows nothing about the game expect Tom Brady is dreamy. I'll grab my girlfriend's pink jersey for you for to wear to the next game you go to. Now, assuming he was criticizing Tavarais Jackson as QB his argument is still flawed. A quality offensive line makes up for a ton of skills player inadequacies. Have an inexperienced QB who takes a long time to go through reads? Hmmm, I bet he could use a few extra seconds in the pocket (this also works for receivers that can't get open quickly (i.e. 2006 Patriots)). How about a marginal running back that can't get through the hole? I bet bigger holes open longer could fix that. But the proof is in the facts. Let's ask Barry Sanders, arguably the best skill position player of the 1990's, how he enjoyed life without an O-line. I'm willing to bet that he would have understood more cap room going to that position. Maybe we can go through the line of marginal backs to rush for 1,000 behind an absurd line in Denver. Or Peyton Manning and his ridiculous receivers getting smashed in the mouth by the Pats in '03 and '04. Hell Peyton was even nice enough to throw his shitty O-linemen under the bus and prove my point.

I, uh... I'm looking for a safe word here... [stuttering] I don't want to be a bad teammate... Let's just say we had some problems with the protection.

But best of all, Francesa forgot about Adrian Peterson. Yeah, the dude sucks to the tune of 224 yards and three tds. I bet he created all on his own. The Vikings o-line includes Matt Birk (C), Steve Hutchinson (LG) and Bryant McKinnie (LT). The right side aren't exactly schlubs either. A line of experienced, all-pro, and serious potential is a waste of money? Although I'm sure if I called the show to call him out on this it would be met with a ton of interrupting and "ehhhh, ehhhh you have no idea what you're talking about. Ahhhhh come on, you can't be serious, ehhhh." (All with the underlying tone of, I sit at this desk all day oh course I know better than you). I won't go as far to say Franseca is an idiot but . . . well, yeah I will.


Asshole(s) 2: Terrell Owens/Tony Romo following the Pats beating them like Ugueth Urbina beats his workers. Nevermind his stupid popcorn note. T.O. pulled the classic Kordell Stewart (no, not the one he used to solicit a gay prostitute) line of the best team doesn't always win. "We know we're better than this." And Tony Homo pulled the who knows that would have happened if we got that first down. I'm thinking it would have gone, Pats drive for another TD, but that's just me. You know what it's not worth my agitation. I can't go further and I won't.



Asshole 3: Wade Phillips. Has there ever been a coach that makes you want to choke him out while watching him on the sideline. Never mind he looks like the coach on the Waterboy. His stupid smile on that stupid face makes me want to smash my tv with a brick. Thanks for making a stupid ass comment about the Pats and their success though, it made Kyle Eckle's TD with 20 seconds left that much sweeter. Oh and Cowboy fans, a big shut the fuck up to all of you about the Pats rubbing it in. Your boy Red, I mean Wade, called timeout with 1:30 something left on the clock. Act like your still fighting and expect counter-punches to keep your petulant asses down. Bitches.