Two Parter: Insufferable Bostonians; Vitamins Are Bad For You

Before I get on to the nonsense, I just want to pose a rhetorical question to the readership: When did Boston fans become such assholes? For a fanbase that, historically, has never had any of their franchises undergo any meaningful stretch of championships other than the Celtics....just wow. Let's look at this list of major sporting franchises (excluding the Celtics, who legitimately were nasty for quite a stretch, but, last time I checked, hasn't won a title in over 20 years). The Bruins have been utterly irrelevant since 1990 when they won their last Conference Championship and haven't hoisted Lord Stanley's Cup since 1972. The Red Sox were always in the thick of things throughout their history, but let's not forget that the "1918!" chant isn't too far in the past. And the Patriots......up until Super Bowl XXXVI they were seriously in the running for worst NFL franchise of all time.

I have my theories as to Boston fans douchebaggery. The Pats ripping off those three Super Bowl victories in four years certainly made them smug, but not overwhelming, they mostly confined themselves to talking shit about the Colts. The Sox busting the curse, or however you want to put the 86 year drought might have added to it. At least with the Sox, though, the bandwagon went through the roof and they became "America's Team". (Just for the record, I don't want to live in an America populated with douches wearing green jerseys and pink hats. I feel almost as strongly as Alec Baldwin about this.) My main theory takes into account the previous, but adds two key elements. The first is the current dominance of the Sox and (especially) the Pats. It lets Boston assholes bring their shit talking to a national level (although, to temper it slightly I just want to point out their current 2-1 hole in the ALCS). The second prong is, I think, the primary one: people from Boston are just kinda assholes. To put this in perspective, I'm on my second stint living in NYC, the first was spent in the Bronx during college. It's true, Yankees fans are about as bad as it gets, but they're just half of New York. With Boston, they're ALL Sox fans.

I just want to point out quickly that this wasn't necessarily reactionary to DGD's many, many posts about Boston sports superiority. He's a true fan and knows his ass from a hole in the ground, but knowledge isn't Boston's problem. They're mostly a knowledgeable sort, just currently insufferable. And yes, last time I checked, my teams haven't won titles in a fair while (Rangers: 1994, Giants: 1991, Mets: 1986, Knicks: 1973). Just a smidgen of bitterness but definitely not jealousy.

OK, the point of my post today was going to be about how Vitamin Water isn't that great for you after all. TW sent an e-mail last month alerting myself, DGD, and a certain Mook associate of AoF as to this. The whole point is that the shit has a ton of calories and sugar, both of which aren't great for you. But hey, it does still have vitamins in it, I guess. Besides, I just completed my daily Ironman, so I could use the extra calories. Also, I'll put in my body just about anything David Wright endorses. Although, I'm starting to hear rumors that he might be gay. OK, not rumors, but I've been told he gets his eyebrows waxed and that seems pretty gay. I'm just hoping he doesn't make the leap to endorsing anal beads, because then I'll be in trouble.